Give me glamour!

Okay, I did not watch the Academy Awards this year. We don't have a TV, but I had planned to watch with my neighbor. Hugh Jackman was hosting, and that was a reason to tune in. He is a real star, and I liked my stars to be glamorous and not mouthpieces for political causes. Whenever a star tears away the veil between them and us and let us see how their mind works, it is generally not a pretty picture. Please, stars, stay beautiful and distant.

I grew up in white bread America. The Oscars and the Miss America pageant were the height of all that was glamorous for me. My favorite actress was Esther Williams. I was delighted to discover that "Mare Radio" (of Radio Bremen), in a series on beauty, devoted a recent podcast to her ("die badende Venus"). When I got older, I moved on to Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. In recent years, I have practically stopped watching new movies. Whenever I read the capsule reviews in the newspapers, the movies promise dysfunction, depression, crime -- unpleasantness. Come on! Entertainment is about escape. Remember: "Spieltrieb!"

I saw Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman last December in Australia. What an epic: "Gone with the Wind Down Under." Kidman has always seemed very brittle to me, but her brittleness paid off in the movie, and Jackman was just incredibly dishy. It was Hugh that made me decide to watch the Oscars this year, but we ended up going to Connecticut instead for dinner with friends. Just conversation and good food and drink. Rick was happy to get out of the kitchen for the evening.

This morning I went through the various sites with pictures of the Oscar festivities. Herewith my Oscar choices. You can match up my awards with the pictures: Coolest Male Glamour (Brad Pitt, hands down); Coolest Female Glamour (Penelope Cruz; I love this gal); Best Dress (Beyonce, also a cool gal); Most Germanic Looking (Heidi Klum); Best Necklace (Amy Adams, an up-and-comer); Most Glamorous Couple (Josh Brolin and Diane Lane).

Then, there were some odd types: Weirdest-Looking Actress (Tilda Swinson; any argument here?); Weirdest-Looking Couple (Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick; and, by the way, am I the only sick of seeing SJP? What's the big deal about this woman, anyway?); Funkiest Couple (Philip Seymour Hoffman and his bride).